For many years I’ve been spending most of my money on my friends. I’ve offered to settle the bill most of the time. Perhaps I thought I had the earning capacity so I should be the one footing the bill or was it because I was afraid that people might label me as selfish or stingy? Well, whatever it was I was definitely splurging on everyone else but myself. At first I felt good thinking that I was sharing my joy with everyone else.

After a while I began to realise I was spending more and alot faster than before. I had a huge sudden surge in friends. I started having holes in my pockets. The holes were big enough to let a train pass through. I was spending more than I wanted to. I kept having this guilty feeling that it’s my responsibility to take care of the expenses whenever I was out with my friends. Soon it was becoming overwhelming and one fine day I decided to stop. I stopped footing the bills and I decided to ask everyone to share costs. Boy was I surprised. The number of friends, the ones who always hanged out with me, suddenly dropped by 80%. I started splitting the costs and this happened.

Then I realised that these people were leveraging on me and want to be my friend because they had some beneficial interest to benefit from. Well that’s the truth of life. Survival of the fittest. It was a choice then and it is a choice now. When you start spending on others, they may take you for granted and sometimes leaving you feeling unappreciated. They sometimes can make you feel like a real sucker because you probably won’t do anything about it. Your kindness becomes a weakness. A weakness that others will take advantage of. I am partly to be blamed in this fiasco. I spoilt my friends.

Well it’s also how I buy the time of others when it gets lonely. What can I say it’s a predicament most businessman have? The effects of working long hours. I don’t really have much friends now because everything I do or talk is somehow related to business and making money. I decided to change all of that. I started to invest more on myself. I spend time shopping for myself, I travel and I also started learning how to play the drums. Yes! I joined a drum school at the beginning of this year and now it’s going pretty well and I plan to invest in a drum set for myself. I hit the gym every morning and I also picked up blogging. I realised by investing more on myself now I can do a lot more stuff within a shorter period of time. I am more resourceful now and I’m spendthrift and invest more on self-development. Things are moving pretty well and I urge others to spend on themselves too. If you feel guilty about spending on yourself you can do what I do. I normally donate first before I decide to spend on myself.

Lastly, this way I don’t feel that bad indulging on luxuries. I quit drinking and smoking and because of that my social circle has shrunk. It’s been lonely but I keep myself busy with picking up new skills along the way. This gets me going at 32. Honestly I think it’s good to keep my mind active instead of wasting it on things that are absolutely unproductive.